Dating Your Best Friend (on a budget)- Making the Ordinary Extraordinary

I've been called a cheap date a time or two and honestly, there was a time when I used to take offense to that. Cheap? It's called frugal! And frugal is an AWESOME thing. I put a high value of my time, which means if I give you my time, I value you. I want to spend my time doing activities that enrich my life. 

My first time around I married an introvert, indoor and movie lover, I'm not saying that's a bad thing, it's just I needed him to come do things that I wanted to do as much as I compromised and did things he enjoyed... and , well... that just didn't happen. The thing I enjoyed most about our dates was the detailed, post movie conversation we had afterward.

With J, it's different. He's my intellectual equal. He's social, constantly seeking new ways to improve himself and has a love for frugality as much as I do. J and I have an unspoken challenge to find ways to make our ordinary, everyday tasks extraordinary. 

EVERYDAY BEHAVIOR ADDS UP (choose to make your mate a priority)

J reading to me. 

I am usually home when J gets home from work. It doesn't take much of an effort to greet your mate, but I'm a firm believer that taking the time to warmly welcome someone home sets a positive tone. I welcome J home with a warm smile and a passionate kiss. Sometimes I run and jump into his arms which makes him laugh. I adore his laugh. I'm a business owner, photographer, designer and student, so when J gets home, there's a good chance I'm working at the computer. When I'm not at the computer, I'm usually in the kitchen cooking dinner. J and I are parents, we have ambition and so many things we have on our to-do lists every day. We are able to keep the spark in our relationship by completing the tasks we have to do as a team. We tell stupid jokes, we have pun competitions, we do the dishes together, we blog together, we Pinterest together...Yes, my manly man is on Pinterest, pinning home improvement, art, and wedding stuff. We take long soaks in our bath tub, take long walks at under the stars, get up and jog in the mornings, take our kids hiking, fishing, camping, do yoga, read books to each other, work on our business together, meet up for lunch and thrift store dates and spend every night we're together wrapped up in a tight cuddly embrace. 

What you do with your time is a choice. When you prioritize your mate, you have a better chance for a happy and successful relationship. 

MIXTAPE CHALLENGE

One of my favorite things to do with J is our "Mixtape Challenge". We choose a theme, a song limit and put together a mix cd that adheres to our rules by a set day. We take turns listening to each other's cd's, explain our thoughts behind our selections and then choosing the winner. 

COMMUNITY EVENTS

We live in and near awesome communities. There are weekly Farmer's markets, every couple months there are street and vendor fairs and the best part? They're all free and full of educational information (and samples). Just last night we went to the Sunset Farmer's Market in our neighboring city. We enjoy all the live bands, street food (did I mention the free samples?), unique art and products, and meeting new people. We followed it up with a walk on the pier. It's tradition, We've been enjoying this event since we met. Usually we'd include sushi, but since we're pinching pennies we ate a bacon wrapped street dog instead. We also used to spend more time just walking on the beach, but we had the kids with us and they were getting tired so we came home a little earlier than normal. 

SHOPPING CHALLENGE

We are bargain hunters. We make lists of the things we want, budget an allotment, and compete to see who can get the most for our money. We hit up thrift stores, consignment stores, garage sales and internet resale sites.

DANCING

We dance.. ALL THE TIME. Every day we take time to dance to at least one song together. Usually it's while we're waiting on dinner to finish cooking, or while the kids have their free time before bed. Man, dancing together really helps keep the romance in our crazy relationship. 

SEXY TIME

We take advantage of the time we spend without the kiddos. Sweet romance is nice, but sometimes, I just want to feel that burning passion and sexual desire that comes with activities that are a little more naughtier than our norm. Sometimes, we pretend that we just met and flirt with each other. We whisper sexy things to each other (we tend to do that all the time) and sometimes, we are a bit more daring. Keeping a healthy sexual appetite with your mate is important. Sexual intimacy, making love, doesn't have to mean "vanilla sex". If that's what you and your partner are into, go for it. I'm certainly not criticizing it, it's just not always what works for my partner and I. 

NOTES

My love and I hide love notes for each other. It's so fun to find an unexpected note carved into a banana, in the fridge, on an unplugged curling iron, in a wallet, written on the car windshield, in a journal, on the car dash, in the books we're reading.  A few times, my sweetheart hid things for me along my jogging route, or set up a scavenger hunt. Thinking up creative places to hide these notes (where they'll be found) takes insight into the other person's life. It shows you pay attention to their habits and took the time to make them feel special; and that often means more than what's written on the note itself.

J and I work very hard, we are very ambitious, goal oriented people with a bunch of kids (his four and my three) that take up a most of our weekends. We fought hard to find a happy balance between our relationship and his limited schedule with the first loves of his life (his children). 

We believe that we're soul mates, but here's a secret. Even people who are meant to be together still must choose to make things work. Love that was meant to be can still be ruined if not handled with care. J and I don't ever want our love to wither away which is why we put so much time and effort into each other. 

Relationships take a lot of effort, relationships with people who have children takes even more effort. Our relationship isn't perfect, but we work hard to smooth out all the kinks and keep the passion. I am fortunate enough to love a man who is romantic in unusual ways. He plays close attention to me, he honors me in all ways, even publicly adoring me. He shouts out his love for me from the proverbial rooftops, aka: social media and I love every minute of it.

Finding a lifetime best friend is uncommon. Finding true love is rare. When you find both a best friend a true love  in the same package, it's rare and precious and should be treated as such.