Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Pop the Champagne!


My sweet husband and I try to dance together every day. One evening last year, I put on a song, one of my favorite, for us to enjoy.

I feel his gentle hands rest upon my waist, his adoring gaze mirrored by my own. The music begins. 

"I don't get many things right the first time" ... his smile widens and his head nods subtly in agreement.


"And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face, now I see it everyday, and I know That I am... The luckiest." He takes a deep breath, as if he is feeling the full capacity of his lung for the first time and quietly speaks, "This should be our first dance song. This is us." 


We continue to dance and he continues to listen to the rest of the song, chuckling at the similarities between the 'what if' scenario illustrated in the lyrics and our own conversations. He holds me closer than ever to his body and I can't help but to feel that's reflective of his emotions. He speaks the words "I love you" but before he lets me go he whispers, "I am the luckiest". 




J and I had initially planned a fancy wedding with about a hundred guests for this December, but the pressure and expense of a traditional wedding just didn't appeal to us. We called off the wedding with no intention of setting another date. One evening in late October I was up visiting my family in Washington State when I got a phone call from J. In our conversation he said he wanted to marry me when I came back home, no frills, no expense, just the two of us committing to spend the rest of our lives driving each other crazy. Well, Who could say no to that?

Two days before our ceremony I got an email from the company I ordered my dress from, saying the trucking company that was delivering my dress was involved in an accident and my dress was ruined. With only two days, there was no time to find another dress. I cried. My sweet love tried his best to console me and was finally able to remind me that he was marrying me, not a dress.

I had another dress that I had worn to our ball but I had lost a little weight and it needed to be taken in. I was able to find a seamstress to do the alterations rush but I wouldn't be able to pick it up until 10am on the day of our wedding. Knowing how lucky I was finding someone on such short notice, I didn't feel I had much of a choice. The day of our wedding, J and I went to pick it up and he insisted I try it on before we leave. I am reluctant because we are already cutting it close on time. He persisted and gave me "the look", The look of determination and a spine of steel. I sighed in defeat and stepped into the changing room. I stepped into my gown and tried to zip up the sides only to find, the zipper wouldn't budge! J had them fix it on the spot (which took another twenty minutes). I used the time to do my makeup and try not to cry over the remark that my seamstress made that I "must have eaten too much at Christmas". It's funny now, not too funny in the stress of the moment though.

We said our vows in an intimate ceremony the day after Christmas. I laughed when my husband recanted our first meeting, first date, and inside jokes and I cried when he vowed to pursue me until his dying day.

Photo Credit: Iconic Images

Although I was against it initially, we exchanged rings. My J wanted to have a token of our love to show. I rarely ever wear mine as I work hard with my hands, constantly sanding, painting, or scrubbing something, but the swell of pride I see on my sweet husband when he notices me wearing it is well worth the compromise of buying it.

Talking to our families before the ceremony.
We set up a video conference with our families so they could witness our ceremony.
J's Vows made me cry.

Jumping for Joy: We're married!
Our dear friends and witnesses
                  







We chose not to have our children at our initial ceremony, which we had quite a few remarks about. Although I don't need to explain the reasoning behind our decision, I want to. 

We believe that in a marriage, God comes first, spouse comes second and children come after. The Bible tells us that when we are married we become ONE with our spouse. Children are not to be the center of the home; God is. Children are a gift from God, they are on loan for parents to train up to be responsible, productive, and moral individuals.When children leave the home, many couples feel the sting of the empty nest and a spouse who they have neglected to invest in. 

J and I value our time with our children, and recognize that our marriage joins together two families as one, but inevitably, our marriage, the conception and maintenance of our union, is our responsibility, not theirs. 

J and I were able to spend the the entire week beforehand with all seven of our babies, and since we plan on renewing our vows annually, they will have more than plenty of opportunities to be involved in celebrating our marriage with us.



Our first meal as husband and wife? Sushi (of course)!
Looking forward to a lifetime of wedded bliss. 

For step parents who may be seeking advice, I found this article helpful when searching for my place in my partner and bonus kiddo's lives:

http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/blended-family/remarriage/staying-married/placing-your-spouse-in-the-front-seat-of-your-heart#.VQhp5o7F98E

The beautiful photos of our ceremony and dinner reception were taken by my dear friend and fellow photographer, Chrissie, of Bella Luce Photography. As a photographer, I place a high value on photos. The very first phone call after booking my venue and date was to book my photographer, and I am so glad I did. We get to savor these precious memories for the rest of our lives.