Pop the Champagne!

My sweet husband and I try to dance together every day. One evening last year, I put on a song, one of my favorite, for us to enjoy.

I feel his gentle hands rest upon my waist, his adoring gaze mirrored by my own. The music begins. 

"I don't get many things right the first time" ... his smile widens and his head nods subtly in agreement.

"And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face, now I see it everyday, and I know That I am... The luckiest." He takes a deep breath, as if he is feeling the full capacity of his lung for the first time and quietly speaks, "This should be our first dance song. This is us." 

We continue to dance and he continues to listen to the rest of the song, chuckling at the similarities between the 'what if' scenario illustrated in the lyrics and our own conversations. He holds me closer than ever to his body and I can't help but to feel that's reflective of his emotions. He speaks the words "I love you" but before he lets me go he whispers, "I am the luckiest". 

J and I had initially planned a fancy wedding with about a hundred guests for this December, but the pressure and expense of a traditional wedding just didn't appeal to us. We called off the wedding with no intention of setting another date. One evening in late October I was up visiting my family in Washington State when I got a phone call from J. In our conversation he said he wanted to marry me when I came back home, no frills, no expense, just the two of us committing to spend the rest of our lives driving each other crazy. Well, Who could say no to that?

Two days before our ceremony I got an email from the company I ordered my dress from, saying the trucking company that was delivering my dress was involved in an accident and my dress was ruined. With only two days, there was no time to find another dress. I cried. My sweet love tried his best to console me and was finally able to remind me that he was marrying me, not a dress.

I had another dress that I had worn to our ball but I had lost a little weight and it needed to be taken in. I was able to find a seamstress to do the alterations rush but I wouldn't be able to pick it up until 10am on the day of our wedding. Knowing how lucky I was finding someone on such short notice, I didn't feel I had much of a choice. The day of our wedding, J and I went to pick it up and he insisted I try it on before we leave. I am reluctant because we are already cutting it close on time. He persisted and gave me "the look", The look of determination and a spine of steel. I sighed in defeat and stepped into the changing room. I stepped into my gown and tried to zip up the sides only to find, the zipper wouldn't budge! J had them fix it on the spot (which took another twenty minutes). I used the time to do my makeup and try not to cry over the remark that my seamstress made that I "must have eaten too much at Christmas". It's funny now, not too funny in the stress of the moment though.

We said our vows in an intimate ceremony the day after Christmas. I laughed when my husband recanted our first meeting, first date, and inside jokes and I cried when he vowed to pursue me until his dying day.

Photo Credit: Iconic Images

Although I was against it initially, we exchanged rings. My J wanted to have a token of our love to show. I rarely ever wear mine as I work hard with my hands, constantly sanding, painting, or scrubbing something, but the swell of pride I see on my sweet husband when he notices me wearing it is well worth the compromise of buying it.

Talking to our families before the ceremony.

We set up a video conference with our families so they could witness our ceremony.

J's Vows made me cry.

Jumping for Joy: We're married!

Our dear friends and witnesses

                  

We chose not to have our children at our initial ceremony, which we had quite a few remarks about. Although I don't need to explain the reasoning behind our decision, I want to. 

We believe that in a marriage, God comes first, spouse comes second and children come after. The Bible tells us that when we are married we become ONE with our spouse. Children are not to be the center of the home; God is. Children are a gift from God, they are on loan for parents to train up to be responsible, productive, and moral individuals.When children leave the home, many couples feel the sting of the empty nest and a spouse who they have neglected to invest in. 

J and I value our time with our children, and recognize that our marriage joins together two families as one, but inevitably, our marriage, the conception and maintenance of our union, is our responsibility, not theirs. 

J and I were able to spend the the entire week beforehand with all seven of our babies, and since we plan on renewing our vows annually, they will have more than plenty of opportunities to be involved in celebrating our marriage with us.

Our first meal as husband and wife? Sushi (of course)!

Looking forward to a lifetime of wedded bliss. 

For step parents who may be seeking advice, I found this article helpful when searching for my place in my partner and bonus kiddo's lives:

http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/blended-family/remarriage/staying-married/placing-your-spouse-in-the-front-seat-of-your-heart#.VQhp5o7F98E

The beautiful photos of our ceremony and dinner reception were taken by my dear friend and fellow photographer, Chrissie, of Bella Luce Photography. As a photographer, I place a high value on photos. The very first phone call after booking my venue and date was to book my photographer, and I am so glad I did. We get to savor these precious memories for the rest of our lives. 

Upped My Investment Game

Yesterday was a BIG day of celebrations in my home. I was able to invest more into my family's future.

When I met my ex husband, I was a teenager, working full time after school as an optician's assistant, with a paid for junker car, money in the bank, Roth IRAs and thought I would die of embarrassment if I were to over draw my checking account. After a year of dating, I suggested that we invest together, which worked out for a couple months and dropped off when we got pregnant and started planning our future life together. Within our first year of marriage we were practically living in the red. I was horrified, but we had a new baby to feed. We cashed in all the investments to keep us afloat during those hard years until eventually, our

My firstborn baby, StigKidC

camera gear became the only assets we owned.

I was a doormat wife. I tried talking to my husband about smart choices with our money, but I knew that it was him bringing in the income and he, as the leader of our home, who got to make the decision in the end. I can't tell you how many times in the tens years of our marriage that we went in the hole because he prioritized his wants over the needs of our family. In the later years of our marriage, I had given up trying to discuss finances, beyond telling him how much we needed for groceries. I started becoming jealous that he was out having a good time, while the kids and I were dressed in hand me downs. So I went out and started spending too. That isn't the best idea, I don't advise that. Eventually I started working more, earning my own income to do with as I pleased (much better idea). At this point in my marriage I knew I was ready for a divorce, but I was bitter and damn sure wanted HIM to pay for it, because in my mind, I had paid many times over. I was still spending. I got my hair done for the first time in two years, I took a vacation, I bought new clothes and shoes for the kids and I. I was living for the first time... but I still regret not investing or saving more.

Now, I've met this awesome guy who got into debt in his first marriage and is working with "gazelle intensity" to pay it all off within 2 years. Just being on the same page about finances motivated me to get my personal finances on track. Of course, I have savings accounts for myself and my children. Last month Justin and I saved up a joint emergency fund, I'm bringing in a profit from my multimedia business and making additional money by selling unwanted items and... my tax refund has arrived.

Let me just preface this by reiterating; Justin and I budget every penny BEFORE it arrives in our bank accounts. We list out our bills, including gas, groceries, a small amount of fun money and anything that's left over gets divided up into Savings, Tithe and paying off debt. (Honestly, We aren't quite doing this right, tithe and savings should be the first 10% (each) of the income, not just what's leftover, but I know we'll get there). So, of course, we had planned out what to do with my tax return well before we got it. The breakdown is below.

I buy my insurance and do most of my banking through USAA. They are an amazing company to do business with, I just LOVE them! I know USAA offers free financial advice so J and I called them up to answer questions and help us invest for my children's college. My financial adviser, Tawnya, also asked me if I had thought about investing in my own retirement and investing in life insurance. Now, I'm a skeptical girl. For a month I worked to get a job with a life insurance company  just to turn down the job in the end because I believed they were more in the business of scamming people instead of helping. However, Listening to Dave Ramsey, I am also under the belief that when researching policies I should make sure to seek Term-Life insurance. [To learn more about Life insurance, check out cswsiggy.blogspot.com]

I lost my life insurance coverage and split retirement benefits in the divorce. I was in need of a new policy, and this time, one that I was in control of.. what I didn't know was J was also in the market for additional coverage. We both got pre-screened, appointment set for medical exams, and quotes for 30 year, Term policies.

Next up was investing in my retirement account. Having invested before, my adviser and I discussed low. moderate and high risk portfolios. I was seeking investments in which I could continually make contributions throughout the year. I eventually ended up choosing the Cornerstone Moderate Fund. The fund has about a 50% equity security/50% fixed income security target asset class allocation... basically, half stocks, half

Cornerstone Mutual Fund History

bonds. I can actively track my investments and (of course) I get quarterly statements. $1000 bought me 66 units and has a steady monthly rate of return.

Finally, my adviser and I got to the most important investments to me, my children's college funds. To my knowledge, no one ever saved for me to go to college. It was a struggle just to put food on the table. My parents told me that if I wanted to go to college, I'd have to get there on a scholarship. I went to an extremely competitive high school and I knew that even though I was an honor roll student, I didn't have the extra curricular activities and foreign languages required for traditional four year colleges. I had no idea about federal grants until a week before I gave birth to my oldest child. Ever since then, I've been making my way through higher education and it's important to me to help my children make their way through college as well. I am a moderate risk kind of person and I again chose a moderate risk, 529 investment plan for the children. StigKidC will be ten this year, which means he has about 8 years until college with only a small savings to his name. I decided to invest double the amount into his account than I did my girls since I have a little more time to invest in their funds.

The next financial goals are beefing up our emergency fund, saving for a house and adding legacy funds to my estate for all seven of our kiddos.

Cheers to me, for being in financial control of my future and many more wise decisions to come!