Changes

With seven children in our home, my partner J and I decided to celebrate the New Year with the East Coasters. I finished up my nightly portion of homework with four minutes to spare and we ran downstairs to join our wonderful neighbor’s celebration. Casually ringing in the New Year with my sweetheart’s lips on mine, toasting with dear friends and laughing with our children was honestly one of the best holidays I've ever had. 

J and I are absolutely GIDDY about our future together. We've started merging more of our life together and preparing for a life of debt free living, investing and travel. I’m over the moon to have found a man who is everything I could ever ask for.  Instead of aimlessly spending all of our income, J and I came up with a plan to give us direction.  We started by laying our all of our debt, smallest to largest; by using an Excel spreadsheet that shows us how long it will take us to be debt free. Along with our financial goals, J and I came up with a year full of monthly progressive goals to accomplish. J will be sharing our financial goals on his blog, http://cswsiggy.blogspot.com/ and I’ll be updating on the progress of our other monthly goals here!

Here’s the layout of our monthly progressive goals we designed to enrich our lives as a couple.

I hope you had a fabulous New Year. I'm wishing you and yours a peaceful and prosperous 2014!

One Love,
Heathery

Exes and Ohs

This is a conversation my ex and I had a while ago. I'm sharing it today as I believe it's a good example how two people can still be friendly and lift each other up, even after they're no longer together.  It starts with his text:

My reply?

***,

I got your message today. I wanted to tell you... as the father of my children and my friend, I love you too. You have to know that you have driven me insane over the last eleven years together, but I am certain you feel the same about me! Those little quirks... the fights... the love... the most amazing kids in the world, have all combined to shape us into the people we are today, and you know what? I wouldn't change a thing.

You are a good guy and I wish you nothing but success in all you seek to accomplish, happiness and the ability to separate yourself from work to appreciate the finer things in life, and MOST importantly, I wish you Love. True, Your next girl won't be as awesome as I am ;) but I know, when you find one you want to be serious with, she'll (he?) be worth it.

Man... Divorce is tough. There aren't many rules and I feel like the California Legal system was designed by a blue falcon (if you know what I mean). None the less, we're creating a good path. There have been some bumps in the road and I anticipate more bumps in the future, however, we're connected by the amazing bond we created through our children... for the rest of our lives (or until one of us dies.. you're older, just sayin')

To some things up *** Elgie, I'll use the words of a wise man. "I have been, and always shall be, your friend." (Spock, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan)

………………………………………………………………………………

All good things come with love.  

1 Corinthians 13:4-7  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (NIV) 

Let's dive into this, shall we... Love is patient/it is not easily angered, I am not. I expect everything to be done in a timely manner and done right. However, Love is teaching me to be more patient.

Love is KIND/Love isn't rude. I know I have said things that have been unkind, even rude to others, even our mates. After having a heart to heart with J, I found out that I had unintentionally been rude to him by being overly honest in my opinion of his religion. Here all along I have been striving to be open minded and seeking equality for all beliefs and ways of life, and yet I was rude to the closest person to me. I know I've certainly said rude things to my ex, especially in his choice of sexual partners and parenting skills. Well, I now realize that his partners aren't my concern, in fact, only SOME of his choices regarding our children are of my concern. The hardest test will be coming next summer when he has the kids. I have to trust his parenting and not criticize his techniques or be so hard on him when he isn't a perfect parent. He hasn't been the primary parent in their lives so how can I expect him to know everything that took me until now to learn? I can't!

Love doesn't envy. Well now... My little green eyed monster used to raise it's head when my ex would get a night out and I'd be stuck with the kids all day.. Then my jealousy grew to him having a life and friends outside the house, his work was his escape. I wanted to work outside the home, but we could never afford daycare. I wanted a life and friends too. I had given up my life, my home, my family and friends when my ex joined the Marines four years into our marriage. That was his choice, and now I had to give up everything where I was alone... and HE got a break? I found it very difficult NOT to be jealous. Now, in my current relationship, I am only jealous that my partner's strengths are my weaknesses. He is "wicked smart" in areas I struggle to understand. He retains information, and sometimes... JUST sometimes, he takes better photos than I do. I am learning to let go of jealousy and be genuinely happy for my mate. Thankfully, I only have had jealousy issues with my mate, and very rarely towards anyone else. My parents raised me to be appreciative for what I have as well as the knowledge that What I have is a direct result of what I earned. I can't be upset that someone earned something that I want but haven't yet earned for myself. 

Love doesn't boast, it isn't proud, it is not self-seeking... Wow. Do you know what this means? It means when you're genuinely loving someone, you will not be thinking about yourself. You think about what's best for them. You do things for them to show them your love and you don't do it for recognition or praise.

I hope you choose to truly love the important people in your life. Tonight, I'm wishing you and yours a very merry Christmas! I am starting the New Year out with some exciting news and projects, so stick around if you want to follow me on a fabulous adventure!

One Love,

Heathery

The Blooming Fashionista

I am a Tom boy.
I was raised in the woods, grew up on a mountain bike and know how to track cougars, deer and bears. My entire life, I'd rather be hiking than doing anything else. I'd rather wrestle and box than shop or meet friends for coffee. I prefer jeans and Chuck Taylors

I'm in my native fashion element

over dresses and heels and I sure as heck didn't wear makeup. I haven't been much of a girl, so recently, I challenged myself to experiment with fashion, makeup, hair and cooking. Man... This stuff is so much harder than it looks.

 After numerous hours on Pinterest, finding looks I could put together with what I already had in my closet, then watching countless hair and makeup tutorials on Youtube I felt ready to experiment, One outfit a day {If you follow me on Instagram, you will have already seen a few of these}.

I had so much fun discovering new looks that I'm going to keep it up. Now if only my attempts at cooking went over as well!

I have curves and I've been afraid to use them

I feel utterly ridiculous in front of a camera

I love the bold fall colors
present in the skirt.

I love this little
mermaid inspired number.

My bold statement shirt,
paired with skinny jeans and heels. 

I have developed a friendship with stripes.

Very casual, perfect for a trip to our
community center and then to the park.

I had an oversized sweater to wrap up in.

Attempting to class up my normal look
by wearing a cuffed skinny jean
and layering my tops. 

I found this awesome guitar shirt at a thrift store and it inspired my "braidhawk".
 I had a lot of fun rocking this outfit.

My Halloween costume is figure flattering.
Can you guess what I am?

Today's inspiration stems from the French matelot.
Striped shirt tucked into my suit pants.

Beautiful But Sad Things.

I usually only read books that are scientifically/mathematically based with the exception of poetry. The last two years, however, my heart has been in search of new foundations and I've been inclined to step out of my comfort zone to try new things.

I picked up this book and read in one day. Of all the words, of all the passages, I found a piece of myself in this sentence; "I’ve always had a terrible weakness for beautiful but sad things." (Sylvain Reynard, Gabriel's Inferno)

How true to me. I try to help homeless when I can, my career path is to help children in bad situations and all my life I've always tried to heal the broken and help the lost find purpose. Doing those things for others is actually quite selfish of me. You see, those little acts that help bring light to others, helps keep my own demons at bay.

Everyday I wage an all out war on loneliness. Most days I win the battle, still I wonder, not IF, but WHEN my war will end.

My God is faithful. My God doesn't just love, he IS love. I know I am never alone.

Kilt lifter~X post

I gave a spectacular show at the station today.

Before picking up my son from school I changed into a twirly, PTA friendly skirt. I picked up Chris and headed out to fill up my parched gas tank. We coasted into the gas station on a prayer and I gleefully swayed into pay for the fuel in which I was about to receive. I triumphantly walked back to my van, the warm breeze against me, making my hair do that perfect commercial thing... Girls know.. the diva fan. Anyway. It was a spectacular sight. Five dollars worth of fuel later (not much time at all) I realized I was feeling that fresh warm breeze somewhere else. Horrified, I felt behind me to find my twirly skirt was attempting to morph into a kite (no attached strings though Justin). I think the only thing that saved me from dying of embarrassment was the fact that I finally invested in nice undies, which I chose to wear today.

So, middle aged man who decided to keep staring and perversely smiling back and forth between me and your phone, glad I made your day better, hope I don't see a picture of that on the internet.

I'm changing into jeans.

Inspiration for my kiddos

Be strong, independent people. Know yourself and love yourself before you take a partner. Never be afraid to speak your mind, but always try to do so with dignity and eloquence. Know that no matter where you roam, or however long you've been gone, you will find an open door and a warm meal with your mama. I have always loved you and I always will. 

<3 

   T 

     T

       A,

Mom.

American Horror Story

Why is the US Flag displayed Upside Down?

The upside down U.S. flag is an official signal of distress. It is not meant to be, and is not officially recognized as any type of disrespect when so displayed for the right reasons. To the contrary, here is the relevant part of the US Code of Laws regarding how to fly the flag when in distress:

THE FLAG CODE 
Title 36, U.S.C., Chapter 10 
As amended by P.L. 344, 94th Congress
Approved July 7, 1976

§ 176. Respect for flag: No disrespect should be shown to the flag of the United States of America; the flag should not be dipped to any person or thing. Regimental colors, State flags, and organization or institutional flags are to be dipped as a mark of honor.

(a) The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property.

Most individuals who have served in the military service of our nation will (or should) recognize this signal.

As a result of the many traitors and enemies we as a free people have, both foreign and domestic, as a result of the many unconstitutional acts, legislation and atrocities passed and/or committed against US citizens and their life, liberty and property, and as a result of policies that have allowed (and continue to allow) enemies of this nation to enter in large numbers through a porous border policy, I believe the life, liberty and property of US Citizens are in dire danger and distress.

I love my country. I am honored to support those who sacrifice everything to defend our freedoms. It is my hope that the most recent turn of events will wake up the my countrymen, who seem to care more about their television programs then the government who who have been trying to rob us of our freedoms. For those who are praying, "God help us", That's great and all.. but God was kicked out of our government, so how about doing your job as a citizen, and help yourself. Get informed of your rights, vote, BE the difference needed to prevent this shit-show from happening in the future.

It's not a new concept, I propose we pass a bill that our commander in chief, our "servant of the people", and members of our house and senate have their pay held, should this situation arise in the future. I'm not a politician, but I sure as hell believe that I love America more than the majority of the worthless piles of poo we call our leaders.