Palomar Observatory (Slideshow)

J and I took my kiddos out to the Palomar Observatory on Sunday. StigKidC's brain soaked in every bit of information as he grilled the docent for about an hour. As we were leaving the docent asked him what the qualifications are for planets. StigKidC thought about it for a second and replied that he didn't know... YET, that he'd soon be learning about planets but is only on rocks and minerals. The docent smiled down at him and replied that learning about our earth is a good start to understanding the rest of our solar system. Below are my photos of our daycation. PS, The observatory is free.

Changes

With seven children in our home, my partner J and I decided to celebrate the New Year with the East Coasters. I finished up my nightly portion of homework with four minutes to spare and we ran downstairs to join our wonderful neighbor’s celebration. Casually ringing in the New Year with my sweetheart’s lips on mine, toasting with dear friends and laughing with our children was honestly one of the best holidays I've ever had. 

J and I are absolutely GIDDY about our future together. We've started merging more of our life together and preparing for a life of debt free living, investing and travel. I’m over the moon to have found a man who is everything I could ever ask for.  Instead of aimlessly spending all of our income, J and I came up with a plan to give us direction.  We started by laying our all of our debt, smallest to largest; by using an Excel spreadsheet that shows us how long it will take us to be debt free. Along with our financial goals, J and I came up with a year full of monthly progressive goals to accomplish. J will be sharing our financial goals on his blog, http://cswsiggy.blogspot.com/ and I’ll be updating on the progress of our other monthly goals here!

Here’s the layout of our monthly progressive goals we designed to enrich our lives as a couple.

I hope you had a fabulous New Year. I'm wishing you and yours a peaceful and prosperous 2014!

One Love,
Heathery

The Blooming Fashionista

I am a Tom boy.
I was raised in the woods, grew up on a mountain bike and know how to track cougars, deer and bears. My entire life, I'd rather be hiking than doing anything else. I'd rather wrestle and box than shop or meet friends for coffee. I prefer jeans and Chuck Taylors

I'm in my native fashion element

over dresses and heels and I sure as heck didn't wear makeup. I haven't been much of a girl, so recently, I challenged myself to experiment with fashion, makeup, hair and cooking. Man... This stuff is so much harder than it looks.

 After numerous hours on Pinterest, finding looks I could put together with what I already had in my closet, then watching countless hair and makeup tutorials on Youtube I felt ready to experiment, One outfit a day {If you follow me on Instagram, you will have already seen a few of these}.

I had so much fun discovering new looks that I'm going to keep it up. Now if only my attempts at cooking went over as well!

I have curves and I've been afraid to use them

I feel utterly ridiculous in front of a camera

I love the bold fall colors
present in the skirt.

I love this little
mermaid inspired number.

My bold statement shirt,
paired with skinny jeans and heels. 

I have developed a friendship with stripes.

Very casual, perfect for a trip to our
community center and then to the park.

I had an oversized sweater to wrap up in.

Attempting to class up my normal look
by wearing a cuffed skinny jean
and layering my tops. 

I found this awesome guitar shirt at a thrift store and it inspired my "braidhawk".
 I had a lot of fun rocking this outfit.

My Halloween costume is figure flattering.
Can you guess what I am?

Today's inspiration stems from the French matelot.
Striped shirt tucked into my suit pants.

Beautiful But Sad Things.

I usually only read books that are scientifically/mathematically based with the exception of poetry. The last two years, however, my heart has been in search of new foundations and I've been inclined to step out of my comfort zone to try new things.

I picked up this book and read in one day. Of all the words, of all the passages, I found a piece of myself in this sentence; "I’ve always had a terrible weakness for beautiful but sad things." (Sylvain Reynard, Gabriel's Inferno)

How true to me. I try to help homeless when I can, my career path is to help children in bad situations and all my life I've always tried to heal the broken and help the lost find purpose. Doing those things for others is actually quite selfish of me. You see, those little acts that help bring light to others, helps keep my own demons at bay.

Everyday I wage an all out war on loneliness. Most days I win the battle, still I wonder, not IF, but WHEN my war will end.

My God is faithful. My God doesn't just love, he IS love. I know I am never alone.

Last night, my sweet, loving partner J turned into a zombie

Granted, he didn't resemble the lifeless mass of human flesh, void of emotion that one sees in their nightmares (No, I’m not talking about my ex husband), but it was dang close.

A little background: I wasn't raised watching horror movies, in fact, I was completely sheltered child. I am, however, naturally brave, surviving the pranks one endures being raised as the youngest child in a household that at any given time sheltered up to 16 children. The ONE paranormal thing that utterly horrifies me is ZOMBIES. Now, I was married to one of the biggest Walking Dead fans, and begrudgingly, started watching it myself. I grew to love that damn show and soon built up a tolerance to the graphic zombie content under specific conditions. The lights had to be on and I had to watch it during the day so I had time to purge my mind of the horror. Simple rules.

Before my partner and I started dating, we’d hang out as friends. THE VERY FIRST TIME we hung out, was late at night, downtown area of a little surf town in SoCal. The night was coming to a close and in the middle of our conversation about bands we liked; I caught the glimpse of a silhouetted, “dread-head’ figure, about 15 feet from us, limping closer and closer. The blood drained from my face and I froze in a panic. I was able to gather my wits and explained to my very confused friend, that I was deathly afraid of zombies. Fast Forward, we start dating and I have among my top rules are; don’t cheat on me, don’t act like a zombie, and no zombie movies before bed. Fast forward again; I’ll give you one guess as to what J thought would be a great idea to do last night.

I walked into our room to see my sweet partner looking through our movie selection. I wasn't really in the mood to watch a movie; I wanted… a completely different activity. But I figured I wouldn't say anything since I had already gotten what I wanted just an hour prior. So I settled under my comforter, ready for J to hop into bed and snuggle up. It wasn't so bad realizing that the movie he selected was World War Z, I wasn't scared when we had watched it before, but then J thought it would be super funny to start mimicking the biting zombie actions. *Real Funny J*

I don’t know what possessed him to get up, but his movements and my heightened state of panic set in resulting in him receiving several swift kicks to his stomach. He quickly excused himself to the bathroom... Leaving me alone… in bed, with a scary ****ing zombie on the screen and I couldn't get up to turn it off because I just KNEW that now there was probably a zombie in my room and, logically, I was safer in bed.

WTF did you Eat J!

I don’t know if you've ever been in a heightened alert state, but when I am, I become aware of every noise, and slight movements that surround me. Due to that fact, I was all too aware of the horrors happening to J in the next room. Oh, the sound of his agonizing moans. Ooooh… the sound of his vital organs dropping out of his body, like machine gun rounds dropping in a war zone. There was nothing I could do, after all, I had to stay alive for my helpless children peacefully sleeping down the hall.

The entire Zombie transformation took a total of about 15 minutes. Then my zombified partner reentered our bedroom, walking a little funny and trailing the smell of death behind him. Being a thoughtful (still living) girlfriend, I thought I'd test to see if a part of my sweet boyfriend was still alive. I pointed out his obvious oversight (oversmell?). He responded by attempting to place the blame on my sweet little girls by saying that aerosol room deodorant was gone and nothing could be done. That was all the proof I needed. My J would have turned on the fan and closed the door to trap the foul, death stench.  That's when I realized that I dealing with a clever new breed of zombie that kills its prey, not by biting, but by suffocation. 

The good news is that the zombie effects have since worn off and from what I can tell, J is back to his wonderful self. Even Better news, I finally know what to get him for Christmas this year! 

Cheers!

Let's talk God.

John Fugelsang delightfully articulates our shared view on God. What an entertaining, friendly conversation between two individuals with differing opinions. 

I enjoy conversing, exchanging personal beliefs and ideas in open forums, so please, if you're easily offended by what I post on my page, realize that YOU alone are responsible for your reactions. Please realize that will never push my personal views on anyone. My only intent is to share my views and experiences. Please feel free to turn this into a friendly conversation, whether you agree or disagree.

I believe in and seek God, NOT specific religions. I do believe in the holy trinity and I do find comfort in certain books of the bible, the same as I do reading the Torah, Quran, Avesta, The Vedas, and Pali Canon collection.

The bible, over time, has been mistranslated and changes dictated by those in power. Reading the bible in it's original text is quite an eye opener, and while I recommend it, I also recommend reading with the consideration that it was written by MEN, it has biases and illustrates views and laws of the times the books were written.

I believe in Jesus, but most people have the Sunday school version of a dude who died for sins and we celebrate birth and death, and that is just the surface of the guy I have come to know. In my youth, I read everything I could about the son of God. Whether you believe Jesus is the son of God or just a fictional character who is supposed to set a good example, the fact remains, the "character" of Jesus is that of a man did more than simply tolerate the outcast of his society. He shared meals, he washed their feet, he served them, he healed them, he never judged them, You know what he DID? LOVED them.

Do you want to know what made Jesus mad?

Those who hurt children. “If you harm one of these little ones, better for you that a millstone be draped around your neck and you be dropped into the depths of the sea” (Luke 17:2).

Self-righteous judgmentalism. As He drove out the money-changers from the spaces normally dedicated to prayer for Gentiles as well as Jews, overturning their tables, He cried out the words of Isaiah: “My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations.” Oh... I'm sorry... Did you get that... ALL NATIONS.

Essentially, the example Jesus sets for us to follow is, be a light to the world, love your brother, take care of children, and don't be an asshole. Religious sects of all kinds could learn a thing or two.

*steps off pulpit* Happy Tuesday Y'all!

Man, I wish I could say, "The dog ate it."

A couple weeks ago I made a post, then, in true, "oh shit... Did I just put that on the internet" form, I deleted it. I wanted to repost sooner, but my schedule hasn't permitted the time. While my post may have been completely true, I find ranting a wee bit distasteful. I probably should have just edited it. I live, I learn, I'm sorry for committing an apparent blogger sin, it won't happen again.

Anyway, to summarize in a more professional manner, J and I have had some relationship hiccups lately in the romance department. I am hoping he steps up his game, but in the mean time, I have decided to step back and view things from an alternative perspective. I have since seen the little... Yes, less romantic, but none-the-less sweet ways J displays his love.

No relationship is perfect, I am not one to expect perfection either. We are human. We err. Sometimes in our quest for what we think we want, we find what we need. I am grateful for J. For the time being, he is what I need. Can I see this lasting long term? You betcha. As long as he continues accepting my numerous flaws, I'll keep accepting his.

Anyway, "Anonymous", I read your feedback. I appreciate your honesty. I hope one day you choose to be less sarcastic and rude in your approach, but even if you don't... Meh... It is what it is (As stated frequently by a friend of mine, sounds like you may know him).

Rehab the Nympho!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
~Erica Jong

Man, Last week was challenging for me SoCal is in the middle of a heatwave and I DO NOT handle heat well, plus, I am under a tremendous amount of financial strain, which, like most, affects me adversely. Poor J, He had to deal with not only the heat, but ME as well.

Different relationships have different expectations which bring out different behaviors. J makes me feel safe enough to be completely open and safe to admit my failures. This environment is conducive to my personal growth. I am becoming increasingly self aware which is making it easier to progress through difficult situations. I know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that my partner wants the best for me, that support is priceless.

J gently admitted that my sexual appetite is a little much for him right now, and just like supply and demand, when you have too much of something, the value decreases. Honestly, hearing that felt like a sucker punch. All I heard was, "Heather, I don't like sex with you as much as I used to, you crazy nympho." which of course, is not what he was saying at all. I have to remember that I am in my sexual prime, so I am going to want sex way more than the average guy. In addition, I went from barely getting any sex to getting it on the daily, and, like a fat kid tasting cake for the first time, I because gluttonous for a good thing.

J wants to use some of the time that we'd normally spend shagging, to talk more... you know, that little thing called communication that I recently [read: within the last twelve months] discovered I'm not that great at. Soooo... I guess we're going to be doing that.

All sarcasm aside, I would happily give up half of the sex J and I have to invest in a deeper understanding of one another. I love how this man challenges my mindset, coaches me on how to be a more assertive woman and not settle for an obedient, mundane life. I enjoy the results of the progress I've already made. As confusing as change can be sometimes, I am excited to continue to uncover the woman that's been stifled inside all these years, and bloom with a man who understands how to inspire the best from me.

I am Not a Vulcan (anymore)

Preface

I have always been an excellent communicator, I simply wouldn't communicate my emotions (when I allowed myself to feel them). Lately, after much hard work and constant encouragement from my partner, I am learning to allow myself to acknowledge and process my feelings. This process, admittedly... Sucks. Having to acknowledge the tramas of my past, having to admit my insecurities and actually say when I'm feeling hurt or angry instead of "stuffing" it away... Ahh! Emotional overload!

To The Point

My children are supposed to with their father through the summer, they have been gone a little over a month. Although we talk daily and Skype, it's not the same as holding them in my arms. Without them with me, I could easily slip into depression, and granted I've had two days where I did nothing but laze about my condo, lost and missing them.

It's a daily struggle to remind myself why I decided to have my ex take them for the summer months. I am constantly saying, "You need to focus on school, keep your appointments, get rid of the cancer, get to know yourself, go out and have a little adventure, work, buy a new car..." I have a laundry list of goals I wanted to accomplish and interests I wanted to pursue, lists of things that would be much more difficult to do with my children present. Happily, I've used my time wisely and the summer is nearly over... My babies are coming home soon!!!

Dealing with cancer sucks. Lack of dealing with cancer would be worse. I have a lot to live for, a lot to fight for and for the first time in my life, I have the love and support of a man I trust wholeheartedly. All of this mushy, "touchy feely" stuff is a little much at times, but I'm thankful for the growth, and to have someone love me enough to see me though all of this.

I'm better because you're in my life J.

Life of TheStigMom Part One:BabyStig

Just a little history for those who like reading about other people’s stories.

The history of my mom and dad is the typical American love story.. Ya know… Divorced mother of one (my mom) meets “SD” at a bar, they have sex, “SD” ends up having a family of his own and when my mom tells “SD” she is pregnant, “SD” told my mom to get lost or SHE would ruin his family.  Sigh Real winner, that one.

So with my Sperm Donor out of the picture, my mother set out to have me on her own. Now, my mom had been living with one of the worst cases of MS that the specialists in Washington State had ever documented. She was advised to abort me, Her mother pleaded with her, worried for her safety. My mother was told she wouldn’t survive the pregnancy, if she did survive, I wouldn’t, and if I did… there was only a slim chance I would be born healthy.

My mom chose life, I was born healthy, but she lost the use of her legs and the doctors told her she would never walk again. My single, disabled mother of two, didn’t believe them and with determination… she was eventually able to get out of her wheelchair. She did the very best she could. She was a very determined woman, but her struggles were just beginning. I don’t know what caused my mother to lose her mind, the disease, genetics, the medications, I really don’t expect answers.  The fact remains she did. 

Before I left the hospital, a few days old, my mother thought it’d be okay to feed me mashed potatoes. Even with family taking turns coming to help her care for us, she’d forget feedings, forget she even had children for hours at a time. I was hospitalized with a Failure to thrive (FTT). I don’t really remember anything, being that young, but do know that’s when my 8 year old sister, H, started caring for me. She was my little mommy.  I loved her more than I loved anything else.

My mother wasn’t a monster. I know that a woman has needs, and even with her illness (turned mental illness), my single mother needed to feel loved, she needed the attention of men. She’d bring men home and sometimes those men would find her two little daughters attractive too. Get where I’m going with this? This I remember clearly. My older sister always did her best to protect me from the harm these savage men would do. She’d sneak me into her room in a pile of blankets, she’d lock her doors… she was braver than any child should have to be. My sister was my protector, my hero. Some days our mother would lose her patience, her anger usually spewed unto my sister. I remember our mom telling H things like I was her favorite, how she was ugly... I remember my sister taking the blame for little insignificant things that I did (not even two years old I was probably a mess maker) and getting whipped with the cord of the vacuum, and I remember being left alone, a lot. My sister would hurry back from school each day to take care of me. Until one day she came home and I wasn’t there.

That day a woman came to the door. I was used to random people coming in and talking to my mother, we lived blocks away from a Jehovah’s witness church and really, my mother rarely turned anyone away who came to talk about Jesus. That day, however, the woman didn’t come to talk about God, She came to remove me from the home. My mother called me from the kitchen into the livingroom. I remember the look on her face. The lady offered me a stuffed animal but I was hesitant to go near her. My mother must have been lucid that day, She was calm, but her eyes were sad as she forced a smile and said it was alright to go. She hugged me tight and told me she loved me. The sky was clear, the air was warm and the calm and gentle movements of my caseworker’s car lulled me to sleep. It was a short car ride and the crunch of the gravel stirred me awake in time to watch the car pull in to the driveway of my new life.

My Friends… I love you.

I posted this on my Facebook today, but since I can't seem to link my Facebook and Twitter on this ******* site, I'll just transfer it here.

 My life is tough right now, I'm definitely dealing with a lot of stressors, but when I count my blessings I see that I'm quite a lucky girl. 

I have some amazing people in my life who build me up when I break down, who distract me when I need distraction, never judge me and who help pick me up and motivate me to go do what needs to be done. 

You are worth your weight in diamonds to me. I grew up with the ability to walk away from anyone I ever knew. I have two emotional settings, happy and numb... Over this last little bit of time, you guys have been able to make me feel more. For the first time in my life, I don't feel completely alone. I feel like I have a home. I feel like I belong, and for that, Thank you.

When I tell my life story, most think it sounds rough, but my life is actually a fairytale, granted, not a traditional one, but I have no doubts that my story will have a happy ending. My God has always provided for me, and when my faith is shaken, I have a few amazing friends hat constantly remind me of my blessings. I have much love for you.♥

Momma's Fresh Fish Snack

Okay, as promised, this is my original recipe for a yummy and (mostly) healthy fish appetizer or snack.

What you'll need:

• About 5 lbs of Salmon
• 1cup orange juice
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1box of Triscuts 
• about 3 cups mango salsa
• 8oz Philadelphia cream cheese 
• About half a block of thinly sliced Tillamock Pepper Jack cheese

I'm originally from (Waythefrickupthere) Northwest Washington, where fresh salmon is easy to find, but if you happen to live in a place where fresh salmon is difficult to find, I highly recommend just buying one from Costco. I usually find a $17-$20 fish will feed my family and have additional left over.

After you've cleaned your salmon and have laid it in a lightly oiled glass casserole dish, lightly salt the top side, sprinkle brown sugar and pour about a cup and a half of orange juice over it. Cover with tin foil and bake for about 45 minutes on 400 or until a light shade of pink, baste often to achieve maximum flavor and moisture.  Set to the side and let it cool.

Yea.. It IS as good as it looks (if you think it looks delicious).

 While the salmon is cooling, prep the rest of the snack by spreading the cream cheese on the cracker and placing them on a baking sheet, and slicing up your cheese. I recommend sipping on a frosty alcoholic beverage (unless you are underage, live in a dry county, are recovering or just prefer not to).

  

My "frosty beverage" of choice

Next, layer on the flaky, tender fish

Ladle on the mango salsa, top with cheese and stick back in the oven for about 5 minutes, or until cheese is melted.

Voilà!